So im waiting in anticipation for the lady from hasbro to call back. Oh wait, i didnt tell you guys about that yet did i ? Ok, lets take a couple steps back. As you've read, i have an eating disorder. I am a compulsive eater ( see memoirs of a compulsive eater). It has gotten worse in the last 3 yrs. I cry all the time, i eat my feelings, i've stolen money just for food, ahhhh, you get it right ? Well its come to my a point where its out of control. I dont know what im doing, and i obviously cant conquer this on my own. My mom has given up on trying to help me. I dont blame her, she's done all she can, and i love her for that. Hasbro is my last option. I've been looking into going to a treatment center. It'd be an all day thing where i'd go to therapy and work out and stuff. Very structured, but its what i need. I have no stability or structure in my life. Of course i would have to be taken out of school, my doctor would have to approve, and blue cross would need to cover it, but thats ok. Its a chance im willing to take. You gotta sacrifice you know ? When im not in treatment, then i'd be doing school work, and getting sleep, not too much time for friends. i wanna do this for a couple months, at least til June. So hopefully she calls back on monday, mom left her a voicemail yesterday. I NEED to get better. i cant keep going on like this, or else i'll be unhappy for a long time. I want to look good in pictures, have self confidence, and fit into clothes. I only have 2 yrs left of highschool and goddam it i wanna enjoy them. So if your reading this, pray, cross your fingers, idk do something. I just hope she calls back. Please.



Good night. ~~

new blog : quotesphrasesandmore.blogspot.com

this is on of the tattoos i wanna get. it has such meaning, and it hits me.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Lotus Flower.

This flower represents the struggle of life, at its most basic form. It grows as a smaller flower at the bottom of a muddy dirty pond, but rises above it all, to show its true beauty. As you can see in the picture. it represents going through a hard time in your life, and overcoming it. to me, this is beauty, and one day, it will be tattooed on my body.

bitchy girls.

horny sex obsessed boys.

teachers who cant teach.

struggling with grades.

trying to make it out.

i finally said my mind. girls think that if your not bffs, then your a bitch. why do we all have to be close? its normal not get along. idc anyways. i have my 3 exceptions for friends. i dont need anyone else. im fine how i am not. so fuck all of you.

i didnt ask for any of this. the bullshit and all the fake people. from now on, im just gonna keep to myself. get my grades up and focus on the real goal : getting out.

leaving and finding myself.

dont take this blog the wrong way. its only a couple people im having an issue with. i guess im just too nice. but its ok, i like it. i like being positive and happy. we shouldnt be friends if ur gonna try and ruin that.

geometry is going well, and my other classes should follow suit. how many yrs do i have left?

oh right, 2.

i'll make it.

good night bloggers

song of the night : when can i see you ---- babyface